Fighting Fear

Gotta be honest everyone.

I am not in a great place.

I haven’t worked out since my dad went in the hospital. I have set my morning alarm with all good intentions and I just don’t get up. Even though I never really fall back asleep.

The community I am part of is amazing. I am trying to pull from them for inspiration. All I have are excuses, no good reason for not doing the thing. I can feel my mind pulling me deeper, the circle is viscous. I know what I have to do, it just seems so impossible. That’s where my mind is right now.

I shared my struggle with my online community and was overwhelmed with the outpouring of support.

Many of them understand the dissonance that depression creates between the knowledge to do better and the ability to take action.

Many of them offered arms of love to surround me with.

Many of them offered solutions and straight talk that you HAVE to do something to climb out.

So, I started to do something. I reflected on January and gave myself credit for the work I have put in. And not just in January but going back to the beginning of this wellness journey.

I acknowledged the fear that I hold on to and drives my bouts. INADEQUACY.

I ordered a set of affirmation cards to help me start my day with positive thoughts.

Tomorrow is a new day. I have done the next right thing today. Tomorrow I will address the next right thing for that day.

If you are struggling, reach out. Make yourself vulnerable. If you don’t you are in danger of losing yourself in the darkness.

If you don’t feel like you have a community. I am here.

Author: Jazmin Locke

An almost 40, wife, mom of two, in the work force, trying to choose myself every day.

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